Another Gem from Mom

My mother sends me an email with the subject line: what do you think of this "necklace" and a link to this little gem:

What do you think?

My Thought Train went something like this, "Oh Lord! There's a snake around that woman's neck! No wait, she looks to calm/bored...what IS that? It kinda looks like a pine needle basket weaving bottom...As a necklace? WTH is it?"

Upon further reading it's a "necklace" made out of a loooooong zipper or several zippers. I think the concept may have merit for those looking to make accessories for their Steampunk outfits but that particular design they strapped onto the model just looks distracting/bizarre. A good accessory if you're trying to distract people from noticing what started as a Bad Hair Day but has now evolved into a Hairpocalypse atop your head, I would think.

Timing is Everything

Some days I really wonder about timing. 


There's the good timing like when I call a friend up and she say, "Oh hello! I was just thinking about you." To myself I think, "My timing's on the ball to day." 

Then there's the not good timing. I have some dear friends who only call me when I'm in the bathroom. I have one friend who I haven't heard from in months but the only time she ever calls me or returns my calls is right after I've closed the bathroom door. How does she have this kind of phenomenal timing?! I have two other friends who always seem to know when I just gotten in the shower because that is the precise moment they both have to text me urgent, time sensitive questions. They also have special ringtones on my phone so for several minutes during my intended long, relaxing shower I get to hear these ringtones go from unique/funny to obnoxious as the Texting Derby continues.


Under the premise of When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade I have considered making special ringtones for my habitual bathroom callers. Maybe I could make ringtones from bits of Bohemian Rhapsody or various woodland creatures chirping and hooting. At least then I can be entertained by what amounts to the strangest of harmless coincidences. ;)


Why do I even take my phone into the bathroom with me if I have no intention of answering it? I have slipped and fallen in the bathroom more times than I care to admit and have this fear that one day I'm going to fallen with extraordinary aplomb. Taking my phone is my, "Help! I've fallen and can't get up!" insurance. The downside to my plan seems to be that I am forever fated to never get to enjoy peace and quiet in my Sanctuary of Solitude.

Brawl erupts over Easter candy

Brawl erupts over Easter candy

This reminds me of the good old days back when I was a kid and Mom and I would quietly sneak out of the house after my brother and sister were asleep to troll 1980's Hattiesburg for Easter candy in order to make Easter baskets before sunrise. 


Mom drove us to some craaaazy places in search of chocolate bunnies and marshmallow chicks after midnight on the Saturday before Easter. There were no 24hr Walmarts or late night grocery stores, just some seriously out of the way gas stations and I swear one year Mom found a trucker selling holiday candy out of his trailer by the old Krystal's on Hwy 49 at 3am, that was a free-for-all! 


Oh, the memories...

Rumor has it...

The other day a friend told me something that has been tickling my mind ever since. Since I was told by someone who isn't a Mormon I'm going to consider this a rumor until I hear otherwise. Here it is:


I was told that Mormons believe that when they die heaven involves ALL the Mormons going to purgatory to convert all the sinners until the very last soul is saved. And Hell is only occupied by souls who refuse to believe in God no matter what. Every one else is in purgatory according to this logic. Yep, since Hitler did not deny God, Hitler is in purgatory, too. And purgatory is filled with God believing sinners and Mormons doing their best to convert all those sinners.


Were you able to keep up with me through all of that? If this is true about a part of the Mormon belief system I am looking forward to Mormon purgatory. If the Mormons are right, purgatory is going to be 24/7 sing-alongs and punch & pie. And as most people know, I <3 punch & pie. Oh, and I used to be obsessed with that "Noah, he built them, he built them an arky, arky..." when I was little. Purgatory's going to be AWESOME if God lets the Mormons be in charge! LOL


If you are one of those poor souls who shudders at the thought of sing-alongs, I am happy to help you work through that possibly debilitating condition. We'll start with show tunes! MUHAHAHAHA...

Mom & her doc are both deaf in 1 ear and pushing 65 years. I couldn't tell if I was more of a translator or senior citizen referee. I have mad skilz!

We got to the doctor's office at 12:30p, saw Mom's doc from 2-3:30p and finished with her labs at 4:30p. By then end I didn't even care if we went to a museum.

We're on our way to Mobile, we certainly do get aroooound.

One of these days I'm going to figure out how to blog post from my phone without it getting cut off.

Hello and welcome to the 114th (?) installment of "Adventures Taking Mom to her Out-of-Town Medical Appointments!" We're on our way to Mob

Lord, please be with me and the pygmies today. I am not in a mood to tolerate mayhem & foolishness from jokers who ignore warnings.